


Remember When...?

by LoneHazelEyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: And I promise just to love you, Harry Styles - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, Love, M/M, Old Men, Wedding, larry stylinson - Freeform, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 17:22:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneHazelEyes/pseuds/LoneHazelEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis are in their seventies and have lived their entire lives in the closet.<br/>They have never come out and have always kept their relationship a secret to the public.</p><p>This is a conversation they have at a trying time in their lives...remembering all the things they did and didn't do over their lifetime together.</p><p>It's a sad one, so get the tissues ready!</p><p>Thanks for reading and let me know what you think :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember When...?

 

Harry and Louis are sitting together. It's 11am and Harry has just had his Angina medicine, Louis is reading the comics in the paper, a blanket over his knee's.

"Remember when we met Lou"? Harry asks.

"In the toilet? After all these years darling, you want to remember meeting me in the toilet"? Louis replies over his glasses.

"Well, it _was_ the start of something amazing" Harry says, daydreaming past Louis, a small smile on his lips.

"Yes, yes, it was" Louis replies, putting a sun spot marked hand out to squeeze Harry's.

Lou has tears in his eyes. "If only it had been different" he adds, a small sob forming in his throat.

"Hey, hey, baby it's ok. We've been happy, havent we?" Harry asks, putting his free hand on Louis' now older, slack jaw line.

"We have, but I'm so proud of you and our achievements and I would have loved to tell everyone about us." Louis answers as a tear rolls down his cheek.

"The important people knew. Our friends, our families, the other boys from the band. US! WE knew. We KNOW! It's US who matter honey, not the public, or the paparazzi, or even the fans. It US. It's always been US." Harry retorts, both trying to cheer up Louis and defend their relationship to an absent audience.

"Remember our first ski trip? How we took off when everyone told us not to? You were so cute trying to teach me to ski and all I kept doing was falling over?" Harry adds, changing the mood in the room.

"Ha ha, you old bastard! You were so cute in your ski pants and coat but god you were frustrating falling over all the time!" Louis half laughs, half sobs.

"Hey! You can talk! Mr I-think-I-know-everything-about-video-games-and-wont-be-shown-the-secret-passages"! Harry smiles.

They both laugh a little, looking into one anothers' cloudy firmiliar eyes.

Louis squeezes Harry's hand softly, their dry crepe paper skins almost rustling like the sound of walking through golden autumn leaves.

Louis' breathing is a little raspy, his cough hasn't settled over the past few months, but it doesn't stop him from reminiscing with Harry.

"Ah, those band days were what memories are made of Haz" he smiles fondly, remembering.

"They sure were my love" Harry adds, his larger and slightly arthritic hand holding on tighter to Louis'.

The afternoon sun starts to come through the window so Harry gets up to close the blinds. He's still slim, but slightly shorter from age and a little portly. He has a slight curve in his back from bending down to Louis all these years and slower than what he used to be, but he thinks he does alright for an oldie!

Sitting back down with Louis, he sighs as he lowers himself into the chair. "Not as young as we used to be" he says.

"You're only as young as the man you're feeling!" Louis raspily laughs, his wit still with him after all these years. "That makes me three years younger than my birth certificate says" he adds with a wink to Harry.

Harry smiles back and then looks into his lap, tears forming in his eyes. He can't believe they've been together, happily, for over 50 years.

"What's wrong babe?" Louis asks.

"Nothing Loubear" he answers, using his pet name for Louis. "I was just thinking about how long we've been together and how much I love you so dearly with all my heart".

"I love you with all my heart too.... It's going to be alright" Louis answers, the sob returning to his throat.

+

Harry walks back into the room carrying two cups of white tea and see's Louis napping, still with the comics open.

He gently tries to take the paper from Louis but accidentlly wakes him. "Sorry, sorry. Go back to sleep" he whispers.

"No, no, I'm alright" Louis coughs. "I'd kill for a tea if one of those is mine" he adds.

They sip their tea in silence for a few minutes. "Remember when Niall tried making us cups of tea? God that was awful!" Louis jokes.

"Oh my god, and the awful concoctions of coctails we all tried to come up with?! Ha, what were we thinking?" Harry adds.

"We werent!" Louis laughs heartily, his tea sploshing in the cup and then splashing a little on him.

Harry grabs a tissue and wipes it off, taking care of his boy as he always did. "Thank you" Louis simply says, tilting his creaky neck up to peck Harry on the lips.

"Mmm, you've still got those beautiful cupids bow lips" Louis drawls.

Harry blushes. Even after all these years, Louis still gives him butterflies in his tummy, still makes his heart beat faster.

"Remember we did that wine tour and that woman bumped into you, spilling red wine all down your new Burberry shirt?" Louis asks.

"Oh yeah, what was that, 20...25 years ago?" Harry answers. "I loved that shirt. Brand new it was! Ruined it, she did, never got to wear that again" he adds.

"You lost another shirt when we went sky diving for your 40th didn't you?" Louis asks. "You're good at getting rid of good shirts!"

"Ha ha, yeah, lucky it was just the shirt that I got rid of and not the rip cord! Could've been a different story otherwise"! Harry laughs.

Louis tries to laugh too, but it turns into a cough, so Harry gets him a glass of water.

"We've done a lot over the years, haven't we?" Louis eventually sighs with a smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah....we have. It's been a wonderful ride..." Harry says sadly, turning away from Louis' sparkling blue eyes, pools of tears again forming in his own emerald green beauties.

"Please don't be sad babe. Like you said, we've had a wonderful life together." Louis whispers, linking his small papery hand with Harry's.

+

"The charity we set up has been a wonderful success, hasn't it?" Louis asks.

"Yes, all thanks to you and your footie skills." Harry flatters Louis, leaning over to kiss him softly on the cheek.

It's in this moment that Harry remembers being in Africa in different stages of their life together, working to help the less fortunate. It's in those times they were left alone by the public and papparazzi, and it's in those times where their love grew and developed.

Louis still seems to be tired and is nodding off again, so Harry lets his mind wander over all the happy memories they have made together.

He remembers the first time they said they loved one another.

All those times when they tried to out smart the papparazzi so they could snatch a few romantic days together.

Bying their houses and decorating them.

Being Uncles to dozens of kids from their friends and families.

Their endless holidays in sun drenched locations after their singing careers had ended.

Their wedding day and how perfect it had been.

There were white flowers everywhere around the secluded country house they had chosen for the intimate ceremony, fairy lights twinkled in the evening dusk, the scent of orange blossom candles filling the Spring air.

There was not a dry eye in the garden as they exchanged their personally written vows which both had ended in "...And I promise just to love you".

Louis had been just 21, Harry 18. And not a day had gone by where they had not said they loved one another, where they had not felt the other completed them, where they did not want to be together.

Harry remembers the slight breeze that evening and how Louis had taken off his tuxedo jacket to put over his shoulders. It was too small for Harry, but he wore it anyway.

It smelt of his Louis. His aftershave, his shampoo, his hair gel, just HIM.

They had slow danced the night away as the dew formed on the grass and as the small crowd dissipated until eventually it was just them under the big oak tree's and dim moonlight.

Louis had worn his supenders, Harry a bow tie in a matching material.

Harry had cradled Louis' head in the crook of his neck and they whispered sweet nothings to each other about how they'd never leave, never love another.

And they never had. There had never been anyone else for either of them.

Harry realises he's been sitting there reminiscing to himself for half an hour or so. He looks over to Louis who is sleeping peacefully, his breathing raspy but his expression relaxed and content.

Harry feels a heart aching pang of love for his husband. There has never been another soul for Harry. He has never felt the need to stray, not even after meeting Louis when he was just 16. All those covert girlfriends their old management made them have never made a dent in their feelings for one another.

Their life could have been very different had they come out and told the world about their relationship together, but that doesn't mean their love wasn't meaningful. ' _As deep as the sea, as high as the sky'_ they used to say to one another. Even had it tattooed down the left side of their rib cages, right next to their hearts.

+

Louis can hear Harry getting up from his chair, but he's tired and can't seem to open his eyes, so he lets them close gently, locking out the world for a little while.

He'll wake up soon, he thinks, and then he and Harry can play scrabble, have another cup of tea.

He listens as Harry walks out of the room and ever so gently closes the door.

Harry.

His Harry.

His husband of close to 60 years. 60 years!

That sob forms in his throat again as he lets sleep take him, tears streaking his cheeks.

He dreams of his Harry, of course. Of their life together. Their love.

He has all the same memories as Harry, all the sun soaked fun they had.

He too remembers their significant times in life. But it's the little things that matter to Louis.

The secret phones Harry got them both so they could communicate without their first management company knowing and intervening.

The meetings Harry had organised for Louis and his hero's, the two and a bit sugars he always added to Louis' tea because he knew Louis likes it sweet.

The patience Harry showed while Louis was paraded around with fake girlfriends and the love notes he always placed in Louis' pockets before he went out with the girls.

The wedding he organised, so perfectly them, right down to the party favours and pizza ordered at 3am for a sneaky feast before spending days in bed together.

The I Love You's.

The commitment.

The way his Harry always backed down in an arguement so Louis could be happy.

He watches the memories run past his eyes like a show real, his own personal slides.

He doesn't want this to end. He doesn't want there to ever be a time when he and Harry are not together.

He starts to wake a little, sobs choking his throat, tears falling from his eyes and sliding down the side of his face.

He raises a small, old mans hand and covers his mouth. He doesn't want anyone else to hear him crying. Doesn't want anyone else to know his pain.

He feels his chest tightening, his raspy breathing now a gasp.

He feels himself getting weaker as a buzzer goes off on one of the machines he's attached to and a nurse comes running in.

"Maeve!" the nurse calls out into the corridor "Go get Mr Tomlinson-Styles quickly. It's almost time".

+

Harry is in the garden at the hospice that has been Louis' home for quite some time now.

It's a lovely garden really, but is tinged with sadness. Everyone who comes here knows either they or their loved one's wont be around for much longer.

You can sit under the old oak tree but the dread never leaves you.

The endless cups of tea from the common room don't make you forget why you're sitting out here, listening to the water feature, watching the Blue Jays play and sing together.

It's a peaceful day today, nice and still. There isn't a sound to be heard as Harry lowers himself onto a wicker chair made for two.

Once upon a time he and Louis would have sat in something similar, side by side, no words needed.

Now Harry is all alone with his thoughts and his memories.

He wants them gone. Wants the ache in his heart to run away and never return. Wants his memories to dissapear. He doesn't want them to be memories, he wants them to be now. He just wants to have some more time with his Louis. 60 years has not been enough.

He wants another 60 years to do it all over again. He wouldn't change a thing. NOTHING. Not even the fact that they've never confirmed their relationship to the public. He doesn't care about that. He just cares about Louis.

Suddenly the door to the courtyard is flung open and one of the younger, newer nurses aids is standing there interrupting his thoughts.

"Mr Tomlinson-Styles?" she asks.

"Yes" he turns to her quickly, his heart beating faster as he heaves himself off the love seat.

"Come quickly Sir....it's time." she answers.

"No...oh no" he whispers to himself, clutching his heart as tears spring to his eyes and gush down his face.

+

Harry manages to get to Louis just as Louis is losing consciousness.

There are beeping machines all around him in his private room and Nurse Strahan is by his side, leaning over him and trying to calm him down.

Louis manages to look right into Harry's eyes as he walks into the room, even though Harry thinks he probably can't really see him.

Harry bravely takes Louis' hand into his and gently rubs along his forearm with the other hand. "I'm here honey, I'm here" Harry manages to choke out through waves of tears and sobs.

Louis tries to speak but can't so he just smiles, a tired but content expression crossing his beautiful features.

Harry leans in and gives Louis one last sweet kiss on his lips, closing his eyes and staying in that position for a few seconds.

He feels Louis' whole body relax and doesn't have to look at him to know what's happening.

They've been waiting for this moment for a while now and Harry knows his Louis well enough to be able to read his body language.

When Harry eventually opens his eyes, Louis has his eyes closed, his head resting gently against his pillow like he's sleeping.

There is sobbing in the room behind Harry which he suspects is coming from Maeve and Nurse Strahan.

Harry is still leaning into Louis, still holding his hand. He can hear Louis' raspy breathing getting slower and shallower, the heart rate monitor slowing down in unison until eventually it is just one long beep.

Louis is gone.

Harry's Louis is gone.

Harry lets out a sob, kisses the back of Louis' hand furiously like it's going to bring him back.

Maeve rushes out of the room, too young and inexperienced to be dealing with something so emotional.

"Honey, no, please, don't leave me. I can't be here without you." Harry cries.

There is no response, no movement.

He's not used to Louis ignoring him. Louis has never ignored him. He wants an answer and logically know's he wont get one, but his heart is aching for one.

Just one word. Just one flicker of his eyes, one smile, one last squeeze of his hand, anything.

+

Louis doesn't understand what's happening.

His chest was getting tight as he thought about not being with Harry, and then all of a sudden he was asleep and an unimaginable force was pulling at him, taking him away from his soulmate.

He didn't want to go. He's never wanted to leave Harry. But the force was so strong he couldn't fight it anymore and eventually let it take him.

He felt peaceful and light as if he was a feather. He was warm, even though in his last months of life he'd always been cold.

He could feel Harry holding his hand, begging him not to go and he so desperately wanted to respond, but hard as he tried, nothing would happen.

Louis could hear his own breathing in his ears and feel his quickened heart beat in his chest. It was hurting and he was panicking, but then it was gone.

All the pain was gone.

He could still feel Harry's hand in his but he was watching the scene from behind Harry, not from the lying position his body was still in in the hospice bed.

He walked up behind Harry and lent over him, enveloping him in a hug, his aches and pains no longer bothering him.

He peppered Harry's jaw line with kisses, just the way Harry liked. "And I promise just to love you" he whispered in Harry's ear.

And then there was just white, and nothingness.

+

Harry sits quietly with Louis for about half an hour, their fingers interlinked, before deciding to go.

He trails his fingers over his lovers hand, the way he always enticed him, and lets the tears drip down his cheeks.

He stands and leans over Louis one last time, smooths back his hair the way he likes to wear it now.

He takes off Louis' glasses, folds them and puts them in his own chest pocket.

He holds Louis for a few moments in the crook of his neck just the way he did on their wedding day all those years ago.

"And I promise just to love you" he sobs into Louis ear one last time before rushing out of the room.

And then there was just white, and nothingness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
